Astarte Moonsilver: MIA

I finally made it to an IOWAN meeting, after not being around since a wedding back in October. It's not that it's far, far away; it's just that schedules between what goes on in my kids' lives and starting a new job since then, I haven't made the time to go and participate. But this year, I resolved to be a good attendee, and actually contribute something to the group. They even chose to allow me to make a presentation later in the year on Gnosticism, a subject I find very interesting, and I hope to make it at least SOUND interesting.

The weirdness of being gone for so long soon vanished as I was welcomed back, (although more than an hour late), it was as though I had never gone missing. I took the teasing pretty good naturedly when I was told back in October, "see ya next spring". It seems like a lot of the folks we see in the warmer months never quite make it to the indoor activities during the dark half of the year. I was really glad to be back. I have missed all of them, and I didn't even realize it.

So strange to consider myself a solitary practitioner, and yet crave the connection of a group. I am grateful for the opportunity to gather together with folks who "get me". But it is so NOT like church. Everyone is much more careful to validate others views, participate in other traditions, ritual themes and be tolerant of those members who have a little more 'flair'. I enjoy taking it all in and belonging, not because I conform to a formula, but because I chose to find what works for me, and really learn to be accepting of those who have different paths to follow.

In the old days, I would have been compelled to try to convince others why my way is superior, and why their way makes no sense. But I find myself actually considering other's views and trying out new ideas. Any time we can hold a ritual, it's very loose and free, but still has a structure and reverence about it. I hope to be brave enough in the coming year to volunteer for leading a ritual, maybe by Lammas or Mabon I can muster up enough within me to voice it.

I would really like to hold a ritual at my home, have the group come here in my backyard and maybe have my family observe, or participate if they wish. I feel the need sometimes to share my experience, even if only to dispel the fear and let them know my intentions. Everyone says they enjoyed my Wiccan-Celtic wedding, and I had a circle cast, quarter-calls, and two officiators, male and female. I incorporated elementals, blessings of earth, air, fire and water, and some incense and candle use. It was thinly veiled, but still enough to speak to me and my husband, without being outwardly in-your-face to our Christian relatives. I have never received a hate-mail yet.

Right now, I am studying Christopher Penczak's Temple of Witchcraft series. His next book is due out in fall of this year, and I can't wait to get it. I also have been reading Deborah Lipp's Elements of Ritual, and trying to finish my personal Book of Shadows, which is about 3/4 done. Scott Cunningham, of course is one of the great ones, and something all newbies should read. And Edain McCoy is a good place to start as well.

I am also heavily into Elaine Pagels, her books on Gnosticism really answered lots of open-ended questions I had in my Christian life.

So, let's see, I've talked about myself for once, and let some readers know what I'm about. And I am still interested in getting SCIPA off the ground, even if it takes years for others to find me. Oh well, I'm here now anyway, and since I don't really have all kinds of free time on my hands, it's probably better if it does take a while to find some local pagans to connect with. Until then, and even after, I will still be glad about the day I walked into the Atlantean and met Barb for the very first time.